Crosscurrent Church recently hosted an information session together with Bethany Christian Services. I was struck by an article in one of the resources Bethany offered to those interested in adopting. The next two posts will share the content of the article. I think it provides good food for thought. If you have a question about any of the points made in this article, please do not hesitate to send them to us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Source: "The adoption journey: A guide for prospective adoptive parents"
Misperception #1 "The birthmother just doesn't love her child."
In reality, there are many choices available to a birthmother. Carrying a child through pregnancy and then placing that child for adoption actually shows a lot of love. other choices she could have made include the termination of her pregnancy.
Misperception #2 " Adoption is the easy way out."
Just as parenting is not always easy, there is nothing easy about making an adoption plan. Grief and loss are part of every relinquishment and adoption, and they are never 'easy' to deal with. The role of the pregnancy counselor is to help the expectant mother make the best decision for her child. "Best" does not always equal "easy."
Misperception #3 "The birthmother will never get over the grief of relinquishing a child."
Working through grief and loss is a process that takes time. It is important for the birthmother to have a trained counselor to help her through the process, which varies from individual to individual.
Misperception #4 "In a domestic infant adoption, the birthparent will come back in a few years and take the child back."
The termination of rights of a birthparent is a legal process eliminating the option of a birthparent returning for his or her child. It is also an emotional process, and birthparents who opt for adoption don't want to disrupt it.
Misperception #5 "Kids will get confused in open adoptions."
Children are smarter than we give them credit for. They know who is there with them every day. It is not healthy for the child to be denied his or her history, whether it is a medical history or family history.